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Tag Archives | STOP

Stop, Drop and Roll Conversations

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So I do not know about you, but there are sometimes some pretty rough situations that student’s in our ministries are going through. There are tough conversations being had all of the time. God is working on student’s hearts and they are wondering and working through some pretty intense things and they want us to talk to them about it. That is awesome!

But it can be scary. What if I don’t know what to say? Or do? Or know of what the Bible says about it? How do you put out this fire? Hopefully this can help a bit:

 Stop - When a student is going through something it is in our nature to want to fix it immediately. It’s the caring, nurturing side of us I think. Just stop, think and pray. Sometimes it is okay to pray with them and tell them, “Hey, I’m going to look this up and get back to you.” Or, “I’m not really sure, I would love to keep praying about that.” Let’s not give a half answer for the convenience of a “right away feel good” answer. Stop, think, pray and let’s make sure we give them a prayerful, biblical answer to help them in their time of need.

Drop - There are sometimes in ministry where the student is heated and obviously shaken up about a situation in their life and we try to let them talk about it with us but they do not want to. That’s just where we need to drop it and give it time. Right now might not be the best time for them, but from I noticed in the past, when they are ready and you make it obvious to them that you would love to talk with them, they come around and open up to you and then the Holy Spirit will guide you in that conversation.

Roll - You roll with it. They open up to you and words are rolling off their tongue. Go with it. Listen intently. Be a great listener. Don’t be distracted. Give them your full focus. Listen while praying, praying that the Holy Spirit will guide you in the right things to say to counsel the student who is finally having a break through. Avoid saying things like, “I know how you are feeling” unless you actually have been through what they are going through. Just stop, listen and celebrate that student is finally getting something off their chest and taking a step closer to Jesus.

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Knowing How To Stop

Friday morning I woke up with a lot to do and a lot more on my mind.  I was beyond exhausted and I tried to will myself forward; however, I just couldn’t move.  After a long week of work and little sleep it was obvious, I just needed to STOP. I was angry at myself because I had hit a moment of burnout, something I thought I could avoid.  I write about it, I work with others on avoiding it; however, it had caught up and gotten me.

In ministry and in life you are going to hit moments when you are just completely wiped.  While it’s easy to get disappointed, frustrated and even angry, it’s important to know that it’s normal.  You and I are human and we are going to get worn out, especially when life picks up.  As leaders of the next generation, our families and the church we need to know:

  • WHEN TO STOP
  • WHEN TO REST
  • WHEN TO RETREAT

When you hit these moments of exhaustion it’s important to STOP and:

  • Refocus On Your Priorities: When what is important becomes muddled it’s easy to get worn out.  Just think about the times you’ve been lost.  If you don’t stop to get direction and refocus on your destination you’ve wasted time and energy.  To prioritize what’s important, stop and revisit the vision you have for your life and your ministry.
  • Do What You Love: Sometimes we get caught up in so many obligations and responsibilities that we forget to enjoy life.  The key is to engage in those things that fuel you.  Not all fun things will fuel you; therefore, be careful that you do not overplan and overcommit.  Give yourself the time and energy to enjoy the process.
  • Work On Your Limitations: Make a list of where you feel stretched too far.  Name the tasks that you can delegate and get rid of them.  Figure out what needs to be done and give them priority.  Create a schedule with margin and make it a goal to follow it.  Share it with others who will hold you accountable and build up those safeguards.
  • Rest In Your Faith: It’s easy to preach quiet time with God; however, to live it out yourself can be a challenge.  Find something you can do that requires you to listen.  Maybe it’s a run or walk without headphones.  You could find a quiet place to journal.  Resting in faith sounds simple; however, it’s easy to take it for granted.  Stop and listen to God.

Burnout is not fun, it’s messy and can derail you from leading, creating and producing.  If you do hit those moments of burnout do not despair, just STOP and take a moment to breathe, rest and reflect.  While life is constantly moving it’s important to maintain a pace that will help you move and grow.

How do you rebound from moments of exhaustion and burnout?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

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LEADERSHIP KILLERS>>>>zeal and apathy>>>>interrupt your influence

These leadership killers are all about what you love, what you hate, and what is beneath your attention. Mis-ordered affections limit influence: blind devotion is just as bad as paralyzed indifference.

The leader who has failed the PASSION TEST denies the priority of the kingdom (Matthew 6:33) and the neglects the importance of truth (Proverbs 19:2). It is impossible to take others to the right place if you haven’t found it yourself. Zeal and apathy work together to force out joy and satisfaction. This leader’s inventory is overstocked with mistakes, surprises, and shallow relationships.

A consistent simplicity can save us: What matters most? What breaks the heart of Jesus? What breaks your heart? Think about these things often. Once a month, once a week, to a degree, you can think about this every day. Here’s the hope: the more you ask these questions, the better your life will get. WE ARE ALL ON A JOURNEY. EVERYONE OF US HAS THE DIS-ABILITY TO FORGET THE IMPORTANT. We learn to love the trivial and magnify the meaningless. Retuning to these questions moves us forward and upward.

I think we need
>>STOP SIGNS, for when we’re about to go out of bounds (and love the wrong things and become indifferent to the good things)
>>STOP LIGHTS for when we need discernment
>>ON-RAMPS for when we really need to CRANK it all the way, and
>>OFF RAMPS to get back to normal life.

FOR ME>>

STOP SIGNS happen when I get surprised by a person’s response to something I do… if I joke too much, or correct too harshly… when someone responds in a way I didn’t anticipate, I bring EVERYTHING to a halt (usually that night) to see where I went wrong.

STOP LIGHTS are typically my friends…people I respect enough to ask their opinion or feelings when I’m unsure or need feedback.

I’ve got lots of ON RAMPS… but when I’m with another person, and they reveal or talk about their passion, then I shut everything else out of my mind, forget about the time, and do what ever it takes to SUBMERGE and FULLY engage what he or she is talking about. I could be on fire, but I don’t care cause I’m watching them burn.

OFF RAMP for me is time with my family. I rarely “catch up” on emails late at night (cause when am I going to catch up on family time?), or do other things that are ministry related.

What do you love? Where are you indifferent? Do you have a heart after God’s?

I want to interrupt my influence by examining my passions.

 

+mattmcgill

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